Jul 6, 2006, SWELTERING IN NEW YORK

In the middle of a heat wave - and I don't have air onditioning! Actually, I don't mind being hot when it's hot outside but the last few days are a tad uncomfortable. I do keep the bathtub full of cool water and frequently take a dip - primitive, but effective. I don't know why I am unable to update my website on a more regular basis but the days flash by so quickly it always amazes me to see how long it's been since I last entered! However, I do have the excuse of travel - I've been out-of-town quite a lot. After my return from India I spent a week in New York before leaving for a month-long retreat in Massachusetts - a very necessary pullback to absorb the whole India experience. Shortly after that went on a "speaking tour." I was in Shreveport, Louisiana, then Jackson, Mississippi. From Jackson I went to Los Angeles and then onto Maui for a week. Unfortunately, I got sick on Maui - had a beast of a cold - so, I spent a lot of the tour sneezing, coughing and blowing my nose - not very attractive - and speaking with a very gravelly voice. After the week on Maui, I returned to Los Angeles, I spoke at a few church groups where I able to offer my book. I also spent time with friends and visited the Getty Museum. One very important event in the last month: I have actually started writing my next book. Most of it is in shorthand and now I have to transcribe, add and edit. It's a tough process and I find myself doing everything to avoid sitting at my desk to write, but at length I do get down to it and it's very rewarding. It's always better if I can do it away from home - does anyone have a cabin by a lake or in the woods I can use!? Even after almost 8 years I continue to receive letters from readers of "The Camel Knows the Way." They tell me that the book has had a profound effect on them - it's humbling to realize that I've been used to bring about a shift in others’ thinking. I know that it really has very little to do with me - I'm simply a channel. At the present time, I'm feeling an emptiness in my life - there seems to be so little going on. I am trying not to fill the hole with entertainment of one sort or another - I remember Mother Teresa's words: The only thing I have to offer to God is my emptiness, even God cannot fill that which is full." It's a lonely, dry feeling, but I keep reminding myself that it's just a feeling, that it will pass, and I'm keen to see what is coming down the pike. I'm also at a very profound time in my life since next month, on August 11th, I will mark the gift of 30 years of sobriety. I got sober in 1976. That was a very hot summer too; and I had the same empty feeling that I have now - though it felt more desperate back then and I thought it was going to be that way forever. Now I know differently: everything passes, mountains pass away and so do feelings. My life over the last 30 years has been remarkable and if it never gets any different than it is right now, I have to remember where I've come from. My mentor said that I'm probably feeling weird around my anniversary because with the remembering of our deliverance from active alcoholism comes an opportunity to spiritually recommit. I send you all my good wishes and my thanks for your continued support.