May 21, 2009, MAY 2009

It's May already and I keep having this notion that I'm very up-to-date with my website entry but I see already two months have slipped away.

Today, May 21st, marks thirty-two years since my father died. That's incredible, thirty-two years! I remember so very clearly my sister calling me at work to tell me he had just passed. It was a beautiful sunny day, I was at my desk in the Japanese department at Sotheby's and then suddenly everything was different - my father, my flesh and blood, was dead.

I remember feeling this wonderful sense of calm, that everything was as it should be, that my father had moved on into another dimension and that he was very close to me in a way that would not have been possible while he was alive in human form. I actually felt him far more alive in my life than at any other time. And in these days, he comes to mind a great deal, I see him very, very clearly and hear his voice. He was an exceptionally good-looking man without a trace of vanity. He had beautiful hands and a very noble countenance and he really admired me. I do regret that I wasn't able to spend more time with him as I got sober. I never saw him again after I came into the Program and I was ten months sober when he died. I was scheduled to return to England for a holiday just a few weeks later. Maybe he knew I was alright and on the right path so he could go in peace.

I did have a remarkable time in Florida, it was remarkable because I had no pressures on me and was able to move easily through the days and put in some major work on my book. Unfortunately, I haven't touched my book project since I returned to NY because I've been so very busy. I was able to escape the relentless cold of the New York winter but not entirely - although we've had some beautiful days, it's only just now warming up for real. Central Park is truly glorious, I went for a long walk there this morning and didn't see a scrap of garbage, not even a cigarette butt or a candy wrapper. And the foliage is beautiful and abundant in all its spring newness.

Since my last entry I've been in Ohio. I went to speak at a woman's anniversary meeting and then my hostess took me and a few other women to Akron to make our pilgrimage. We went to Dr. Bob's house, to the Akron Intergroup and looked at the incredible archives, and to the Mayflower Hotel where one of the more spiritual events in the annals of human history took place. It is now a SRO (Single Room Occupancy) hotel and rather rundown as is all of Akron, but one can still see traces of its former glory. We stood there where Bill Wilson had stood back in 1935 torn between the bar and the telephone. He was at the end of a hideous day business-wise, all his hopes and dreams had gone up in smoke, he was alone and defeated and he was six months without a drink...the bar looked very tempting. But Bill Wilson moved towards the telephone and started calling local churches to see if he could find another drunk to talk to and there begins the amazing story of recovery that myself and millions like me enjoy this day. I believe that the lobby of the Mayflower Hotel is holy ground - we stood there and recited the Preamble and said a silent prayer.

A few weekends ago I travelled out to Long Island to speak at another anniversary meeting in Oyster Bay - it was so much fun and the very next day I got on the back of a horse for the first time since I broke my knee last October - it was incredible, I felt right at home: I walked, trotted and cantered!

I went out there again to Oyster Bay this past weekend to run an auction for a local school and took another lesson atop Johnny - I'm gearing up for my trip to Ireland next week where I hope to put in some good riding.

So, all in all, life is very pleasant. I have much to be grateful for. I'd love to hear from you.