Apr 18, 2004, Altered States

I haven't entered anything on my website for a while because on the Ides of March, I slipped, fell and broke my ankle in three places. The doctor told me that I should consider myself one very lucky person, since he'd never seen fractures this bad that didn't require surgery - the breaks were so precise! However, this accident sent me into realms of depression and isolation. I have constantly reminded myself that it isn't cancer and that so many are far worse off. I was fortunate to have some really dear friends who took me into their home and took care of me. The hardest thing has been to surrender and allowing myself to be helped physically. This temporary physical impairment has opened my eyes in a different way to others suffering - I don't think I ever really took much notice of people on crutches - now I'm so aware of people in the street who struggle just to move along - what courage and fortitude it takes to just keep going. I am now off the crutches and hopefully, this week I will be able to take off the Darth Vader-type boot I've had to wear. I pray that this will be a marker in my life and that I don't try to get back to a life I used to have, but can move forward in a different, more aware frame of mind. Because of the injury, I have had to cancel some engagements. However, the meditation retreat weekend which had been scheduled for April 2-4th at Siena in Long Island, has now been rescheduled for May 14-16th.