Sep 10, 2010, I can hear the Footsteps...

Hello everyone,

Well, my book: In the Footsteps of the Camel will be here the week of October 15th - that's when it lands on the docks - I might have to wait over a week for the shipment to clear customs all-depending what else is in the container.

I've worked so, so hard on this book, some days I'd be hours on end in front of the computer, forgetting to wash or eat. But right up to the last minute I was finding things I wanted to alter. I'm so glad it had as many hold-ups as it did because it gave me a chance to see some things that I would have been horrified if they'd gone through.

I'm sure those words on the manuscript get together at night and make evil babies because I cannot believe how many mistakes or adjustments I continually had to make and that was after five really good editors had read it!

Anyway, it's done. I'm now trying to get myself very familiar with facebook so that I can post comments and people can respond to me in a more direct way. You can see the cover of my new book there now.

Also I'm in the process of updating and changing this website and hopefully it will be more interactive.

At the beginning of August I went away on a 9-day silent to Insight Meditation Society in Massachusetts. On the way up there on the Greyhound bus, I was coming back from using the facilities at the back of the bus when the driver slammed on the brakes and I went flying down the aisle. I managed to twist myself so that I didn't land on my wrists again but the arm rests dug into my back and I hit my head on one.

I had to lay down on the floor of the bus for a good twenty minutes and finally the other passengers and the driver got me back to my seat. I realized when I was able to stand and walk that I hadn't broken anything but I was in agony. I had really hurt myself. I decided not to get off in Worcester and go to the hospital but to press on to the refuge of the retreat center. Once there I laid in my room for one whole day and on the second day I put my hand on my head to feel the bump and found that my hair was caked in blood!

Day-by-day it got better. I was able to sit in the meditation hall but I was groaning and gasping when I had to change position from sitting to standing - it was a silent retreat but I just couldn't not yell out, the pain was terrible. I managed with Tylenol.

I really don't know why I'm so accident prone. Why when I was standing did the bus driver slam on the brakes? Loads of other passengers had walked back and forth to their seat. Something is very much off, sometimes I feel that something is after me. A few weeks ago a little seascape painting on wood, fell off the bookcase right onto the arch of my foot and hurt like hell. This past Sunday night I fell out of bed! How could I possibly have fallen out of bed? Maybe I was pushed out! And my bed is almost three feet off the floor so it was no small fall, I think the only reason I didn't really hurt myself was because I was asleep and didn't try to save myself.

And yesterday, Tuesday, I had just left my oncologist after a routine check-up, and I fell in the street. It was a smooth piece of pavement, I didn't stumble, I didn't turn my ankle, I was wearing sensible footwear and yet I fell. All the contents of my bag went flying and people were so kind. I have no idea why this is all happening to me. It's not only painful, it's weird.

I've asked my doctor to check my medications and I've had all sorts of ear, brain, and balance tests but everything tests negative and apparently I'm okay. But obviously I'm not, or something is not. Very odd.

After the retreat my meditation teachers were in New York and they came to my apartment and "smudge" me and the rooms. Hey, I'm quite willing to do anything at this point. I think I'd like an exorcist!

Now, I'm going to keep a log of my accidents or near misses.

So, that's me up-to-date.